Becoming Divinely Human
by CC Leigh

Chapter 7: Support

Our Story: We sought out and joined together with like-minded people who were also committed to the love, investigation, and expression of true and total Being. Whenever possible, we worked closely with divinely human teachers and other helpers, to benefit from their Presence, experience, and transmission.

The importance of good company
The project of becoming divinely human is one that is quite challenging and fraught with unknowns and pitfalls along the way. And while books can be very helpful in describing the territory that will be traveled, there is no substitute for a skilled, wise guide who has traveled ahead and is now willing to help you make the journey. In this chapter, we will discuss some of the benefits of working with teachers, mentors, and other types of support. We will also cover some of the hazards that can be encountered in the teacher-student relationship, and how they can be avoided—or at least managed for the most optimal results.

You can’t do it alone—not fully anyway
On your own, you can only go so far in your inner journeys. This may be quite far—indeed, some people have profound, fundamental awakenings without the benefit of a teacher or community. Still, the full flowering of such an awakening comes in the company of other awakened and awakening people. There is a special value in being able to express your discoveries and hear others’ revelations. When you are practicing independently, there is no one to mirror your blind spots back to you, or to show you a vision of something possible that you had not considered before. You will inevitably be limited in some ways if you don’t open yourself to awakened companionship.

Just having information about awakening is not sufficient for most people. You might have various kinds of openings, mystical experiences, or deep recognitions that feel life-changing in the moment, but what typically occurs is that these experiences are short-lived and fade into the background leaving confusion or discouragement in their wake. Once you enter the dark night (whether deconstructing happens in a dramatic, or subtle, manner), you will be best served by a personal approach— personal contact with a teacher who can see you and respond to your unique attributes and unique process of embodied awakening. Blanket recommendations and formulaic processes have their place, but once you have hit the wall and are being undone by life, personal attention becomes especially important.

Another very important reason to build a support system into your life is that there will come times during your awakening process when you may well be “reduced” to your most broken places, even to the extent of feeling you are on the brink of primal insanity. This can be a scary time, when you’ll be thankful to have already established some trustable relationships, ones that can be stronger than the compelling illogic of your broken zones.

The unhealthy aspects of co-dependency have been well publicized, leading some people to avoid turning to others for support. Instead, they swing far in the other direction and isolate themselves. But there is a middle ground of healthy interdependence, where all parties remain responsible for their own lives, yet able to engage with one another for support and growth. Divinely human interdependence leaves plenty of room for individual expression and autonomy, yet includes opportunities for mutual interaction where the divine essence of each person is seen, acknowledged, and valued.

Now, how do you find a teacher or other helper who understands embodied awakening? I recommend working only with those who a) have had an embodied awakening themselves,
b) really understand the power of greenlighting, and c) can help you learn effective ways to work with your inner process.
A teacher or counselor with a divinely human orientation will primarily greenlight and support, rather than criticize, offer so-called “constructive” feedback, or point out your ego or other so-called “negative” aspects of your character. They will offer non-judging reflection to help you become more self-aware. And they will come from a fundamental trust that your life is unfolding in an organic and intelligent way, guided by Being. They realize their job is primarily to keep you company along the way, rather than tell you what you should think or do.

The Trillium Awakening Community
The place where I have found a lot of folks who meet these criteria is my “home base” community of Trillium Awakening. There is an association of awakened-and-embodied teachers (the Trillium Awakening Teachers Circle) and a school for training prospective mentors and teachers (the Institute of Awakened Mutuality), and there are local community groups in a number of places in North America and overseas. This interlinked community has developed a model of supportive relationships that has proven very effective at fostering embodied awakenings, a model that can help you awaken, too.

We’ve found that personal coaching has been a key ingredient in successful embodied awakenings, so we typically offer one-on- one and small-group personalized attention from people who are able to meet you exactly where you are in your process, and help guide you toward your most auspicious unfolding. The limitation of most “guru-on-the-stage” situations, where the same advice is being given to everyone in the room, is that what is right for you at one time may be quite ineffective at other stages of your awakening process. The only way for a teacher to help you determine what’s right for you now is by knowing and interacting with you individually.

The heart of my personal teaching work is the radical embrace of everything, and this is also the foundation of Trillium Awakening. Beyond that, I, like other teachers of this approach, have developed my own way of teaching and working with students that in some ways diverges from what we might call the “core dharma”—so don’t be surprised if other teachers have different ways of talking about Trillium. We are learning more about conscious embodiment all the time, and one of the exciting things about Trillium Awakening is the opportunity to share our discoveries with one another and thus grow as a body of practice. We are becoming more like a university with a collection of complementary teachings, than a single teaching put forth by any one teacher. That said, this chapter will introduce you to the practices that we’ve found most highly effective in helping Trillium Awakening students land in permanent, integrated embodied awakenings.

Existential equality with functional hierarchy
As a community founded upon principles of mutuality, it stands to reason that we would hold a high regard for everyone’s value as existential equals. Because we are all fundamentally both divine and human, it’s true that we are all of equal value as people. In one way of looking at it, no one’s experience is “more true” or “more right” than anyone else’s.

On the other hand, we acknowledge a real difference in the skills we have in the practice of Trillium Awakening, and in the perspectives we are able to hold. For instance, once someone has had a divinely human, “second birth” realization, their capacity for being able to hold themselves and others increases. And once someone trains to become a mentor, they have developed another degree of that capacity. Likewise for the teachers as they progress from interning to full teachers and then eldership. They deepen not only in capacity but also in skill, experience, and hard-won wisdom. Therefore we do acknowledge a functional hierarchy— in other words, real differences in skills and experience.

Introducing the support team: teachers, mentors, peers, therapists
The embodied awakening process brings buried feelings or deep-seated issues to the surface to help liberate the energy bound up in them, and thus facilitate whole-being awakening and integration. Therefore, to make your passage as easeful as possible, it’s a good idea to have a support team consisting of a teacher, a mentor, a body-centered therapist who is oriented toward greenlighting, and peers who are at more or less similar stages of the awakening process as you.

Trillium Awakening teachers are people who have been awake to their divinely human condition long enough to have completed significant integration and also to have gone through a training program that was especially focused on developing skills of holding, transmission, mutuality, and discriminating the stages of the embodied awakening process. They are strongly motivated to assist others in coming to the same realizations that have blessed and transformed their own lives.
Mentors have experienced embodied awakening and find themselves moved to volunteer their support to others in their awakening process. Many (though not all) of them aspire to become teachers and are mentoring as a part of their own training and integration. We generally think of mentors as “older sisters and brothers on the path”—folks who’ve walked the territory and are available for mutual conversation and support. They offer their services at no charge other than a requested modest donation to a scholarship fund.

Peers are those who are more or less at a similar place in their spiritual unfoldment as you are, with whom you can share your experiences along the way as friends on the path. An especially potent way to benefit from peer relationships is by being Inseeing partners for one another as described in Chapter 5.

Another valuable way to interact with peers is by participating in a regular mutuality group. This could be a teacher-led group (often called a sitting), or a group that meets without a teacher. Both types provide rich opportunities for practice in speaking one’s truth and holding others who are doing the same. Mutuality groups can meet in person or via phone or online conferencing when the participants are not local to one another. There will be more information about mutuality groups in Chapter 8.

Therapists are especially helpful when you are encountering your more entrenched patterns or deep-seated issues. But all therapy is not the same, and it would be counterproductive to be working with a therapist who holds a “fix it” orientation that would work against the divinely human approach of greenlighting and radical acceptance.

Fortunately, some of the Trillium Awakening teachers and mentors are also licensed therapists. In general, we’ve found that body-centered therapies provide the best support for embodied awakening, including but not limited to the modalities of Inseeing, Inner-Relationship Focusing, Hakomi, and Core Energetics. And for healing deep traumas, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing are especially useful. Working in any of these areas can provide a deep enrichment and enlivenment of your process.

If you find yourself at this point feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of so much interpersonal support, remember that these are simply recommendations and that you remain the authority for your life and process. At every point, you determine the level of support that feels best to you.

Finding and working with a teacher
You are encouraged, if you find yourself drawn to this approach, to find your personal teacher. As there are quite a number to choose from, there’s a good chance that you will find someone whose style, teaching, and personality appeal to you. Some are better at holding people in their brokenness, others at helping to clarify Consciousness. Still others might be able to relate to a particular spiritual framework that you know well, like having a background in Advaita Vedanta, Christianity, or 12-step programs.

It is important to find someone you resonate with. What does that mean? It means that when you are working with this person, most of the time you feel like they get who you are, that they are championing your fullest unfoldment, that you can understand what they are trying to communicate, and that you feel a reasonable degree of safety with them. Sometimes resonance feels a bit like falling in love, like something in your being just recognizes this person as “the one” who will serve you well.

While it is most useful to find and work with one primary teacher who can really get to know you and your process, the other side of the equation is that each teacher is unique and has a different background and skill set. It’s not unusual for aspirants to spend time with different teachers at different stages of their process.
Since sessions conducted by telephone or video chats are also quite effective, you don’t have to be limited due to geographic considerations. You might meet a teacher at a workshop or a retreat, or you can visit www.trilliumawakening.org and read the teachers’ personal pages to get a sense of who might be a fit for you. If you live near a teacher, he or she may be conducting local sittings or other classes you can attend as a way to get to know them.
Some people find that talking with their teacher every week is optimal. Others find that bi-weekly or even monthly is sufficient. Teachers generally request a flat fee for their time, so you’ll want to make an arrangement that works for you financially.

Once you are working with a teacher, you are invited to also take advantage of the support of a volunteer mentor. Information about currently available mentors can also be found at www.trilliumawakening.org.

Confidentiality
Information that is shared with Trillium Awakening teachers and mentors or within group settings is considered confidential, and participants are all requested to not repeat personal details outside of that setting. There is an exception made within the teacher/mentor community wherein a teacher or mentor may share with other teachers something about a student’s process (without revealing unnecessary personal details) in order to serve them in the most useful manner. Feel free to discuss the parameters of confidentiality with anyone you are working with and be sure that you are comfortable and feel safe.

Your discoveries matter
In interactions with your teacher or others in the community, your truth is important and welcome. When you are undertaking something as profound and transformative as awakening your divinely human nature, the discoveries you are making on your own are equally important to whatever wisdom your teacher might share with you. What you discover for yourself becomes real for you, whereas what you hear from others is only conceptual unless and until it clicks into place for you personally.

It is also useful (and not considered disrespectful in our work) to speak any questions, doubts, fears, or resistance when that’s up for you. This may include skepticism that this approach will really work, or perhaps distrust of the skill, motivations, or even ethics of a teacher. Do bring it up. Speak it! Speaking these things will take you most directly to your “edges”—those aspects of who you are that are wanting more light—and help you sort out what’s true now from what is left over from times you’ve been hurt in the past, or witnessed others being hurt.

You may well have good reason to distrust. It is a tragic fact that a number of spiritual leaders have had lapses of judgment or poor ethical boundaries, and have brought disillusionment— even devastation—to those who trusted them as guides. Or perhaps you’ve had experience with another person who was untrustworthy, such as an abusive or erratic parent, teacher, or other authority figure. Whether you have been personally affected or only heard about these abuses of power second-hand, you may understandably be reluctant to open yourself to anyone in a similar role. This is as it should be! If you are not feeling trust, that is not a failing or weakness on your part but a healthy instinct to avoid further injury. Since your doubts may, however, keep you from fully receiving the benefits of transmission from awakened helpers, it will be useful, when you are ready and feel safe enough, to begin speaking them in an appropriate way, so they can be resolved and trust can grow.

Teachers are not all-knowing
Teachers are not all-knowing or always right. Teachers are divinely human beings who remain imperfect and fallible, and at times you might find yourself really wondering if there’s anything “divine” about them at all. They will get triggered and go through hard times. They might fail to really get you sometimes. They might do something that hurts your feelings. It’s not that embodied teachers are more messed up than other types of spiritual teachers or leaders; rather, it’s simply that they’ve made a choice not to hide their humanness from the people they serve.

At first, this might seem incongruous. If you see a teacher in pain, or reacting to something and showing anything but equanimity, you might question what qualifies that person to be a teacher for you. You might even question whether they have actually awakened, especially if you hold to the myth that awakening brings a constant state of inner peace and grace. But we’re talking about embodied awakenings here, and that means the awakening is inclusive of all of our humanity, including the messy parts we sometimes wish we did not have. By allowing students to see that they, too, are vulnerable and can experience doubts, fears, anger, grief—the entire range of feelings—teachers are demonstrating that this awakening is very down to earth, very real, and very attainable by ordinary folk leading ordinary lives. Like you and me.

The Trillium Awakening community has seen its share of messy interactions. We freely admit that we are not perfectly able to live up to our own ideals all of the time. What is rather unique here, however, is that the teachers are willing to let you see them as they are, and are willing to take feedback about their behavior, especially if you feel you have been injured by one of them. Then they will do their best to be accountable and make amends.
Teachers are not therapists (with some exceptions)

Trillium Awakening teachers are not therapists. Not only are they not trained in the diagnosis and treatment of specific psychological disorders, they are not bound to keep their personal feelings private, as are therapists. When you work with a licensed therapist, the focus is on you and the therapist typically will not bring their personal experience into the relationship. However, the goals of working with a Trillium Awakening teacher are quite different—they’re not about fixing what ails you, but about helping you come fully alive and awake in all your divinely human glory, exactly as you are. We have found that it is more useful for your teacher to meet you as a fellow traveler on this journey, with a degree of give and take in the interaction that can help you template off of the real, lived, awakened condition of the teacher.

Note: since most of the teachers in the Trillium Awakening community are NOT licensed therapists (although some are), they do not have the training to address serious psychological situations. Spiritual teaching is not therapy, even though it may involve helping you learn many things about how you function as a human being. If the going gets rough in your awakening process (as often happens at some point), do seek out appropriately skilled professional assistance.

You remain the authority for your own life— like it or not
Although we encourage aspirants to work with a number of helpers along the way, we also remind them that they are the authority in their own life. Awakening into your divinely human life involves stepping into a deeper recognition of your own autonomy, even while forming lines of connection and interdependence. In the final analysis, no one but you can know what is going on in you, or what you truly need.

At times you may feel insecure, self-doubting, and vulnerable in this bewildering world. Your teachers and mentors are here to support you, but not to tell you what decisions to make for your life. That is always in your hands. What we will do is help you learn how to sort out the threads and various elements of your life in order to be able to make good choices. And we will help you tailor a program to support your most auspicious progress through the inevitably difficult passages you will encounter. But we will not tell you what to do—even if you ask us to!

Due diligence
You are advised to do some “due diligence” with all the members of your support team—and with the embodiment approach itself. It’s possible that the divinely human path might not be right for you at this time, but might be at another time, in a different phase of your unfoldment. Due diligence also means finding out if this is a “safe enough” place for you to grow and prosper. You’ll want to check things out before getting too involved. Wait a while to see how things operate, and what level of commitment the practitioners have to each other’s growth in a mutually safe environment. For example, how well do they work through difficult issues between people?

You will also want to know what values are held by the community, and their agreements about ethical conduct between teachers and students. No one can be perfectly safe, but what’s most important is that they show a level of consideration for you that leaves you feeling safe enough to be willing to take some risks, because the rewards from such risk-taking can be profoundly valuable to you over time.

Feel free to shop around until you find the teacher or other helper whose approach works for you. Different teachers have different styles, and if you don’t like what’s happening with one teacher, you are welcome—and advised—to find another.

Issues of devotion and attraction
Feelings of devotion and attraction can easily arise when you are working with teachers or mentors in this work. When you find that special connection with someone who is the embodiment of the divine in human form, who really sees and gets the divinely human being that you are, it can feel rather like falling in love. It is natural for hearts to be touched and feelings of attraction to go along with that, especially since this is an embodiment process wherein students are encouraged to invite their feelings to be present and acknowledged, and also are reconnecting their body-awareness with their mental awareness. Given all that, and that awakening itself often starts one’s juices flowing, it is not unexpected for people to find themselves feeling awash in love, gratitude, or devotion for those who are supporting them deeply. These powerful feelings can provide further energy for the awakening process as long as they are held with care, within appropriate boundaries.

Re-parenting
Trillium Awakening teachers work with you in a re-parenting fashion to help supply elements that might have been missing in your early development. These elements, on the mothering side, may include seeing you as you really are, unconditional positive regard, and radical acceptance of all of you, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. On the fathering side, there may be leadership, boundary-setting, and wise guidance. This kind of conscious mothering and fathering will turn up in your work with any teacher to greater or lesser degrees, regardless of whether they are a man or a woman.
Working together in this fashion will inevitably trigger areas of pain from your childhood at some point. There’s a natural tendency to project a sort of two-dimensional “ideal parent” image upon a teacher, which will last only as long as the teacher doesn’t touch any of your hot buttons. One day you’ll be delighting in the “good mothering” energy you are receiving, then another day you may find yourself suddenly experiencing your teacher as “bad mother” or “bad father” due to some inadvertent comment or perceived slight, and be tempted to break off with them at that point. But it is exactly at these moments when breakthroughs and profound openings can occur.

Triggering of regression into child states is actually useful for healing, because it is precisely when you are fully immersed in the “young” feeling state that experiencing a different result can make the biggest impact on your whole-being understanding. It can release the old energy and free it for something new to become true for you. This is not to say that your teachers intentionally take you into areas of pain and wounding, but that such types of triggering are an entirely normal, and potentially very potent, part of the process of engaging with teachers.

We can only go so far with our inner work if we are doing it in isolation from others. At some point, we are going to find ourselves in a situation with others where our past wounding comes flaring into life, bringing all of its confusion and distress with it. Rather than avoid such situations, it is highly beneficial to regard these moments as points of power. Staying in communication at such times is a key element, one that can make all the difference between simply getting re-triggered and in having a healing experience. Remember that the people on your support team are there to help you achieve some breathing room in the midst of your conditioned responses to life, in order to create space for all of who you are to come alive, even the most shy, tender parts. When your “surrogate parent” teacher stays in communication with you, and is able and willing to hear your distress without breaking off contact, you are receiving a different result than what happened in the past. Your whole wiring begins to get reconfigured.

However, when situations like this flare up, it can be very difficult to sort things through with the person with whom you are experiencing the triggering. That’s why it’s useful to have more than one person on your support team. When things get sticky with one person, you can turn to another person on your team for help in gaining perspective on the feelings that are arising. This is not a substitute for bringing your feedback directly to the teacher who has triggered you. You will be encouraged to do that, but in your own time and readiness to do so.

Living fire
Awakening is potent stuff. It’s dynamite. It’s volcanic. It’s a tectonic force at work to rewire your whole being to be able to run more voltage than ever before, due to your spiritual energy body coming fully on line. It’s dancing with fire while trying not to get burned. It’s not child’s play, nor is it for the faint-hearted. In the final analysis, it is the ultimate hero’s journey, and may well require you to tap inner resources you never knew you had. This is your “surgeon general’s warning” that embarking on a path of awakening is risky business and will bring about profound changes in your life, some of which will have utterly unpredictable outcomes and consequences.

If you have read this far you are very likely finding yourself already self-enrolled and sliding down the slippery slope of your own manifest destiny as a divinely human being. Bravo! We are glad to have your company in this amazing adventure.

Your teachers have the challenge of creating a safe-enough space—a cradle for your awakening—while also greenlighting the living fire of your divinity taking human form, whatever that may bring forth in the process. It is vitally important that participants in this work have plenty of room to ignite, to explode, to get into the room, whatever it takes. Too many “rules” or codes of behavior are counterproductive to that process. This applies to teachers as well, as too many rules or restrictions on their behavior would deprive you of seeing them in their own raw brilliance (and messiness). There isn’t a “right” way to awaken here, and as you will be discovering, becoming divinely human means that you become more you, not necessarily more “nice,” or more of what anyone else (or you) would like you to be. That’s not the point. The point is for you to get here, take a stand for yourself, and be willing to make an impact while you are here, however that looks—and whether or not those around you are appreciating it in the moment.

This does NOT mean that our goal is for everyone to become self-absorbed assholes. Getting here is Step 1, and becoming aware of how we impact others is Step 2. But Step 1 does seem to require more self-absorption and self-assertion than many spiritual paths would seem to condone. But that’s how it is in this work. You need to cut yourself loose to discover who you are.

Potential teacher-student problems
So this is what counterbalances the picture of your awakened helpers as “good parents.” Yes, they will be that for you to some degree. But never forget that they, too, are aflame with the living fire of awakened spirit. And they are walking the fine line that includes an internal demand for self-expression on the one hand, and an acute sensitivity to the Other that they have been cultivating in order to serve people in the awakening process.
Spiritual teachers, as is true for other people in positions of authority and trust, can be tempted to abuse that trust, especially in the areas of sexuality, money, and power. Collectively, we (teachers and mentors) have learned through hard-won experience that certain restraints on self-expression are essential to creating a sufficient climate of safety for people to awaken. So it is wise for anyone who is considering working with a spiritual teacher to be aware of these potential problem areas. When both teachers and students are working together to hold agreed-upon boundaries, the likelihood of abuse goes down dramatically.
The TATC

This is one of the reasons the Trillium Awakening teachers have joined together to create the Trillium Awakening Teachers Circle (TATC). We realize that, acting alone, spiritual teachers may feel they have no one to answer to except themselves. But there have been too many painful lapses of integrity on the part of spiritual teachers, across many traditions and paths, in recent years to think that anyone is completely impervious to temptation. Anyone can fall into a blind spot without warning, because a blind spot is just that—a pattern of behavior that is invisible to us until someone can help us see it through conscious reflection. Most such blind spots and broken zones are fairly benign, but when they involve intimate contact with vulnerable students, the results can be traumatic not only for the student but also for the teacher, the people around them, and the entire community.

As an association of awakened spiritual teachers, the members of the TATC voluntarily agree to comply with an ethics policy that outlines our boundaries around sexual and romantic relationships, money, and power. Equally, or even more importantly, we have all agreed to stay in mutuality with one another. This means that all teachers meet together in groups of 4 to 6 on a regular basis, and share what is happening in our personal lives and in our teaching work. In this fashion, we build networks of relationships that provide a rich field of support for our own ongoing development as teachers and as divinely human beings. And we also have a system in place that can help spot potential problem areas and provide assistance and support for healing or resolution. This sort of collegial relationship among awakened teachers is rare and, we feel, highly desirable for the future of spiritual work in the world.

Our ethics policy
The teachers and mentors, as stated earlier, have agreed to comply with a policy that puts limits on teacher-student romantic or sexual involvement. This is not designed to prevent a potentially beautiful relationship from happening, but to help ensure that students in a vulnerable condition are not taken advantage of by those who are there to support them. The following will give you a taste of what our intentions are around this very loaded issue.
Teachers/mentors will not engage in any sexual contact with participants during workshops or retreats.

If there is a romantic interest between a teacher or mentor and a student, that student will be assisted in getting their feet on the ground and in finding another teacher to work with before the teacher or mentor opens a relationship consideration with them.

Teachers or mentors who are serving a student in an ongoing primary relationship (doing private sessions on a regular basis) will not initiate any romantic or sexual contact with that student, nor respond to any overture by the student.

If a sustained interest develops, and if both are free of other romantic commitments, there are steps to follow (including a three-month “cooling off” period) to make sure the student has established adequate support relationships before moving forward.

In all cases, the goal is for all parties to be supported in ways that will help them to navigate the especially volatile arena of romantic and sexual engagement. By participating in mutuality groups and being transparent with our feelings, our intention as conscious teachers is to help one another avoid the most significant lapses of judgment that can occur in private, one-on-one situations.

The arena of sexuality has been notorious for such lapses of good judgment and hypocrisy on the part of otherwise trusted and revered spiritual teachers, which is the reason our ethics policy focuses primarily on it. However, we are also mindful of the potential for abuse in the areas of money and power, and address these areas in our ethics policy as well. In regards to power issues and differentials, we are careful not to tell students what to do. You, and only you, are in charge of your life. Your teacher may make suggestions for things you might want to try; things they feel will facilitate your unfoldment and integration. And, of course, in many cases you will want to follow those suggestions in order to benefit from their experience—but you should always feel free to follow your own inner guidance. If your teacher ever makes demands on you that feel uncomfortable or unreasonable, please bring your concerns up with other members of your support team for a full review.

And the same basically applies in the arena of money. You do not have to purchase anything special, or get involved in any business schemes with any teacher in order to participate in this work. This teaching and support is available on a fee-for-time basis. Of course, there are workshops and retreats to attend (highly recommended!), and books and other resources available to purchase that will expand your understanding of divinely human awakening. But again, if you are ever asked to participate in anything that seems somehow “off” to you, feel free to discuss it with other members of your support team before signing on.

Tantric initiations
Another phenomenon of the embodied awakening process is that there may come a time when your whole being is consumed by a passionate, sexual desire for someone you have met along the path. This might be a teacher, a mentor, or a fellow student, and these sorts of eruptions are no respecter of socially-approved boundaries like marriage or committed relationships with other people. In this community, we informally refer to this phenomenon as “tantric initiations.” They’re “tantric” because they involve the dance of opposites, in this case the dance of sexual polarity, and they’re “initiations” because they are almost always spiritually catalytic in nature.

It seems that tantric initiation is somehow related to the embodiment process itself, as the whole being is energized and opened to more refined currents of subtle energy. Such a high- intensity infatuation is quite compelling, so perhaps Being, in its own ingenious way, uses it to help bring your attention and identity-gravity fully down into your physical and emotional bodies. Whatever its divine purpose, there is no doubting its power and effectiveness in getting the attention of those who find themselves caught up in its thrall.

To make best use of this tantric fire, be sure to let your support team know what is happening with you, as they can help you sort out the threads of your feelings, navigate the potential pitfalls and complications, and support you in using this energy to further your embodiment process.
Since tantric initiations happen without regard for other relationships in your life—or in the life of the person you are feeling attracted to—it can be difficult to know what to do with this energy. The temptation to act it out and consummate the relationship can be quite strong, and it is only natural to feel fearful about what might happen to your current relationships. And while this sort of intense attraction can bring about the beginning of a life-altering relationship if both parties are available to take that on, often it is not actually about that. It may simply be there to help awaken you on multiple levels of your being. A tantric initiation does not mean that you need to leave your current relationship (if you’re in one) and run off together— in fact this might be exactly the wrong thing to do. What is most beneficial, ultimately, is to sit within this fire—to burn with it— and let it alchemically transform you as it will.

While we celebrate the openings and sexual liberation that such initiations can bring, if you find yourself in the throes of such an initiation we also support you in staying in conscious communication, especially with your current partner (if any) who may feel threatened and confused by what’s happening to his or her mate. Ultimately, tantric energies can be used to reinvigorate existing relationships just as well as to inaugurate new ones, and no one can predict which will be the better outcome for you.

If such a tantric initiation is occurring in regards to a Trillium Awakening teacher or mentor, there are guidelines that the teacher/mentor will follow so that everyone involved is supported in reaching the best possible outcome.

Building your support system
To recap, in order to make the best use of the available support, we encourage you to develop, in your own time and way, a team consisting of a teacher, a mentor, some peers who are fellow travelers on the path, a therapist you can turn to for working through the really sticky parts, and a group to participate with. This may sound daunting, but much of it will develop organically and naturally as you participate in sittings, retreats, and other events. Even if you live some distance from any teacher or other peers, you can still participate by traveling to events when possible, and through online participation.

You may well find that your spiritual community becomes another family for you, of a more conscious sort than your original one. Having a family like this is highly supportive of a successful and complete awakening into your divinely human life—and provides a venue for practicing mutuality that you might not easily find anywhere else.

Like any family, this one won’t be perfect and is sure to trigger your broken zones at times and cause you to gnash your teeth in frustration. But its members, by and large, will continue to lean in with you if you are willing to lean in with them.
In summary

Events are a great way to get to know what the Trillium Awakening path is all about. Individual teachers and some regional groups sponsor events and retreats of various kinds, as does the Institute of Awakened Mutuality which also conducts the advanced-level courses for training mentors and teachers of this work.
Teachers have years of experience and training and are especially valuable resources for helping your fulfill your potential. Each teacher is utterly unique, and, fortunately, there are a number of them for you to choose from. They can be found, with photos and bios and often other writings as well, on www.trilliumawakening.org.

Mentors are also listed on the same website, with photos and bios. Once you are working regularly with a teacher, you are encouraged to find a mentor for further support and more opportunity for mutuality.

Peers can be found by attending sittings, or by attending courses or retreats which are listed on the Trillium Awakening website also. Do add your name to the master mailing list, so you will receive notices of upcoming events and other news of interest.

Groups can be sittings or other mutuality groups where people in a local area decide to meet on a regular basis, with or without a teacher present. If there isn’t one happening in your area, you could start one yourself or you might be able to join a group that meets by video conferencing. You can find more information at www.trilliumawakening.org/virtual-sittings- and-mutuality-groups.

Licensed Therapists who are also deeply involved in Trillium Awakening are listed on the Contact page of our website. There are many others whose approach would also be considered compatible with this work, including teachers and mentors who have taken training in body-centered approaches but might not be licensed therapists (they will list this information on their bio page).

This chapter has given you some guidelines for finding and working with people whose life purpose includes helping you reach your goals for embodied awakening and transformation in this lifetime. This book can only give you pointers and a conceptual framework to help you understand the whole-being transformation that may already be underway in you. By working with a personal guide who has travelled a similar path, your awakening process has the greatest likelihood of flowering into its full potential.

There’s more to relating than having a teacher or support team. Enter mutuality. . . . .