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Gazing with Tatini
Gazing with Bill
The Power of Pause
Pausing …. in today’s fast-paced world do you take time to pause? When people speak of awakening they often use the word “presence” or the expression, “present moment awareness.”
Pausing, even for just a moment, can bring us in direct contact with the present moment, with presence.
In this video presentation, I speak about the connection between presence, consciousness, the ground of being and fundamental wellness. I share an exercise that will help you pause in order to directly sense this connection.
2017 We Space Summit Sandra Glickman
In this intimate and dynamic interview, a senior teacher of Trillium Awakening and recently retired psychotherapist of almost 30 years, Sandra Glickman shares her wisdom with Michael Brabant around collective intelligence and embodied awakening. She highlights the immense importance of “holding” as a spiritual competency to be present to intense experiences both individually and collectively. She shares about the utility and limitation of emergent messiness in the We-Space, empowering participants to be more active in the context of the We-Space, skillful vs. unskillful transparency as a facilitator and how tracking our inner experience gives us information about the we space itself. Many more potent themes around We-Space facilitation and spiritual embodiment are discussed with nuance and depth. The interview closes with Sandra offering a refreshingly positive narrative of what is currently taking place in the world and the tremendous growth she has witnessed in how the feminine is honoured in our world over in recent years.
Fairfield’s Annual Fall Retreat
Come enjoy Fairfield with its small town charm and high concentration of Trillium Awakening teachers, mentors, and participants.
Why might you want to come to our Trillium Awakening Retreat? Consider these, among many other reasons:
No matter where you are on your personal trajectory of awakenings, you will be supported and propelled forward by the transmission of the teachers, and their deep welcoming of you in all your humanness and divinity.
When you dare to bring forward your most intimate struggles, you are held without judgment. This process helps you relax more deeply into what is, and into all of who you are at this time—a catalyst for profound shifts in your life.
Is it easy to relax into our humanness? Not always. At Fairfield’s Transformation Retreat, you will have enormous support for this process—from teachers, and other awakened participants, who contagiously radiate the bodily realization of Being, and from the entire group, who will offer you whole-body listening.
“But,” you may be thinking, “I’ve already had my awakening. Why would I want to come?” Because the dynamics of further awakenings are essentially the same as those for living in Whole Being Realization (i.e. second birth) : deeper relaxation into our human nature and investigation into our divine nature.
Immersion in the continuous Trillium Awakening environment of the five day Retreat creates an unavoidable transformational momentum, and is one powerful way to “grasp the means” of your continued awakening.
In addition to the great mutual growth toward living our individual potentials, we hope you will join us for the fun and fellowship that seem to naturally accompany deep openings and vulnerability with each other.
2017 We Space Panel Interview
In this rich Trillium Awakening panel exploring the edges of spiritual embodiment and a more feminine approach to awakening, panel members shared gem and after gem around the facilitation of a We-Space. Sandra Glickman, Cielle Backstrom and Fax Gilbert discuss the nuances of facilitating We-Spaces, including balancing a feminine and masculine approach, honoring the personal while simultaneously while holding a transpersonal perspective, and how to hold a greater coherence of the Field when chaos or disharmony arises in the dynamics of the group. As seasoned spiritual practitioners and teachers, Sandra, Cielle and Fax share the gifts of their learning over recent decades that has a noticeable effect of humanizing the role of facilitation through their sharing of an approach to We-Space that is both focused on radical self-realization and also welcoming to the fullness of their human experience for both facilitator and participants. While Trillium Awakening as a dharma path is focused on embodied awakening, there are powerful lessons in this panel that can serve facilitators and participants of We-Spaces regardless of their focus or intention.
Please click the image above in order to view this interview.
Love-Bliss of the Supreme Heart – Video Music Album
These are 10 tracks of my flute compositions and improvisations, played on 7-hole shakuhachis, which are Japanese end-blown bamboo flutes. I recorded these pieces at my home in 2011 through 2012, during an especially grace-filled creative period, when a lot of divine inspiration and Love-Bliss intoxication was happening. Initially, I was going to put out a CD of my music, but it didn’t get fully completed, and then, besides sharing it with friends and acquaintances, the recording sat on the shelf for years.
Finally, in early Spring of 2020, I got the inspiration to combine my lovely flower photographs (taken with my iPhone) with my recorded shakuhachi music. I enlisted Drew Martinez to do the video art editing, and he very sensitively and artistically wove the two elements together into a new creation. I believe that the combination ends up a very beautiful audiovisual tapestry of flute music and photographic art.
I am very happy to be able to finally share this with you. I am hoping that this video art creation will provide deep sublime moments of beauty, inspiration, healing, peace, Heart-blessings, Heart-Love and Bliss, and Grace.
Regarding the title, “Supreme Heart” is a poetic term for all-inclusive Source, or Source of All. Infinite Love-Bliss is a primary aspect of all-inclusive Source. Paradoxically, Source of All is simultaneously both transcendent and manifested as us, the physical world, and the cosmos.
For more information about my music and teachings visit my website at
Love-Bliss – Full Video Album
Love-Bliss – Individual Tracks Playlist
Van’s Path to Awakening – Spiritual Autobiography
00:00:00 – Deborah and Van greeting
00:03:50 – Intro and overview
00:10:00 – Second birth/Whole Being Realization
00:12:00 – Grace on the path
00:15:00 – Psychedelic drugs as an opening factor
00:22:00 – Looking to get “high” without psychoactive drugs
00:30:00 – Spiritual banquet – discovering dharmic paths & holy people
00:35:00 – Introduction to Adi Da’s teachings
00:42:00 – Van’s “Rot” period
00:01:00 – Family trauma issues
00:02:00 – Therapy
00:12:00 – Hearing about Saniel Bonder’s awakening from a friend
00:13:00 – First sitting with Saniel and awakening story
00:16:00 – Witnessing thoughts – Embodied Feeling Witness Consciousness
00:17:00 – Readiness from being in “the Rot”
00:19:00 – Blaze of Consciousness and radiant Divine Love of initial Whole Being Realization
00:20:30 – Experiencing centerless, uncaused love
00:21:00 – Whole Being Realization
00:22:00 – Fused into the world and seamless unity experience
00:25:00 – Post-awakened life and evolution into teaching
00:27:00 – Discovering further maturation of Whole Being Realization
00:29:00 – The value of exploring, experimenting, and improvising in teaching
00:30:00 – Apprenticing with Saniel
00:34:00 – Saniel advises Van to start teaching
00:35:00 – Van’s first sitting as a teacher
00:38:00 – The importance of both structure and improvisation in teaching
00:01:00 – Uniqueness of each person’s awakening & discovering gradual awakening, aka “Oozing in”
00:02:00 – Adapting the teachings for each person’s needs
00:04:00 – Van’s experience with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
00:06:00 – Whole Being Realization is not a fixed state – bodily experience of it fluctuates
00:09:30 – Stable access to the Core Paradox
00:10:30 – Deepening in unity
00:11:30 – Recognition that there is only singular Radiant Divine Being
00:13:00 – The Amrita Factor – the experience of radiant Love-bliss and “divine intoxication”
00:15:00 – The shift in identity from human to divine
00:17:00 – Everything and everyone is a divine manifestation
00:18:30 – Meeting David Spero
00:19:00 – Love-bliss intensification and spiritual deepening with David Spero 00:21:00 – Devotion and the Divine Feminine
00:23:00 – Bliss in Waking Down
00:25:00 – Three aspects of Divine Whole Being – Consciousness, Shakti, & Love-bliss
00:26:00 – Expanding Trillium’s core dharma/teachings
00:31:00 – Integrating Love-bliss into Trillium & the Divine Feminine
00:39:00 – Realization of all-inclusive divinity in later stages of awakening (Note: Van has coined the term “ultra-singularity” as a key element of the later stages, after this interview.)