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Core Identity Inquiry Meditation with Fax Gilbert

Trillium Awakening
Trillium Awakening
Core Identity Inquiry Meditation with Fax Gilbert
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In this meditation you will be led through a simple self-inquiry process toward a deepening recognition of your fundamental nature. A powerful way to connect as the Being that registers and embodies everything else.we are.

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Consciousness

The Well of Onlyness

In the Trillium Dharma, Onlyness is defined as the quality of seamlessness of consciousness with phenomena; the recognition that all phenomena, objects, and others are of the “same essence” as your conscious embodied, non-separate nature. For many of us, myself included, Onlyness is easiest to experience with phenomena and objects, and not so easy with…

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Who Knows?

It seems to be getting harder to count on established sources of truth, justice, and knowledge necessary to deliver the clarity, confidence, and safety needed to navigate life. Parental wisdom drops off when we reach adolescence, organized religion at about the same time, the court system fell away after O.J., pollsters after 2016, some friends…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Embodiment

Liminal Time

February and March have always been important times for me as harbingers of change. Here in the northern hemisphere, we’re moving toward a change of season from winter to spring. Something about this transition is profoundly moving to me. The earth is changing, gaining light and temperature and losing ice and snow. Trees and bushes…

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Trillium Awakening mit Tatini auf Deutsch

Trillium Awakening ist ein aus den USA stammender, demokratisch organisierter, spiritueller Prozess. Dieser Weg ist ein sehr organischer und individueller Prozess, der von Teilnehmer zu Teilnehmer variiert. Er bietet auf den jeweiligen Teilnehmer abgestimmte Unterstützung um das nicht-duale, verkörperte Erwachen zu unterstützen. Dieses Erwachen (das “Whole Being Realization”), stellt eine grundlegende Heilung der Geist/Materie-Trennung dar…

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The Unraveling of Fixing and Seeking Strategies

Unraveling of fixing and seeking strategies is one of the first phases we are likely to encounter on our path of whole being awakening. This includes the realization that your previous strategies to either 1) fix, control, or figure out or 2) escape or transcend – pull away from your fundamental feeling of “I’m not okay”…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Personal/Poetic

Timeless Transmission

We’ve all had the experience of returning to a spiritual book and understanding the words in a new way. We’ve also had the experience of reading a passage that directly speaks to something in our Being. These connections are especially validating when they come from ancient traditions .You can find passages from any scripture that…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Personal/Poetic

The Only Gift You Have to Give

Our unveiled gaze receives and reflects the brightness of God until we are gradually turned into the image that we reflect -2 Corinthians 3:18 One of our country’s most insightful social commentators once remarked that as a society we’ve all gotten away from the “true meaning of Christmas—”the birth of Santa.” Homer Simpson, in his…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Mutuality

Mutuality and Politics

I see politics as a black cauldron where the brightness of our collective hopes and dreams gets churned with the darkness of fear and paranoia from our collective shadow resulting in an acrid stew of opinion, allegiance, reactivity and drama. So it was with some consternation that Sharon and I recently attended two political meetings…

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Tumultuous Times

The New Year has brought to the forefront more clearly than ever before the limitations of perceiving with just the mind, of interpreting reality primarily through a default system of belief and opinion.  As we are bombarded with data bolstering ideological positions from all sides, the need to transcend the digital world and integrate a more…

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The “Other”: Social Undercurrents in Mutuality

It is often said in Trillium Awakening circles that our individual shadow work serves both personal and collective healing. This is because the conditioning (and trauma) that caused us to protect and hide our authenticity came through our primary caregivers who, in turn, were deeply conditioned by their families and culture. This conditioning goes back…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Embodiment

Manifesting Embodiment: Integrating Race, Ethnicity, Gender, Ability, and Sexual Orientation into Awakening

The current socio-political climate in the US, and much of the world, is such that we all have work to do to understand our relationship to differences in personal identity. Doing awakening work today requires us to lean in to how we embody our lived experience. In the Trillium Path, we awaken as embodied consciousness,…

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Body of Love: Awakened Embodiment in Action

What does it take to embody and express love in our actions? Many spiritual paths talk about acting in a loving and kind way, and it’s a worthy ideal…but how do we make it real? Especially in these challenging times! Industrialized culture, deeply disconnected from body and soul, values reason and believes in control. But…

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Interview w/ Dr Leticia Nieto and Kirstin Eventyr

Awakened activism is a natural outcome of maturation and involves a deepening and widening beyond self and group identifications into something broader. It goes hand-in-hand with coming to know the self as much larger than a single identity, and acting accordingly.” ~~ Dr Leticia Nieto, author of Beyond Inclusion, Beyond Empowerment Would you like to…

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Hidden Agendas: The Shadow Side of Activism

WHAT IS THE SHADOW?Shadow is a term psychologist Carl Jung used to describe the unconscious dimension of our psyche which our conscious self – our ego – denies or is unable to access. Hidden in our shadow are aspects of ourselves that were unacceptable as a child, and which we dissociated from in order to survive and…

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Ecology of Mutuality

In the Trillium Awakening path, we tend to talk about mutuality in terms of an exchange between two people – an exchange of deep authenticity. “Being in mutuality” generally implies a willingness to encounter each other vulnerably, with presence and respect, even when things get rough (or perhaps especially then). We can, however, widen the…

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Racism is Alive in Me

As we say in Trillium Awakening: the good news is that perfection is not required in order to have a spiritual awakening. And, we are quick to add: the bad news is that perfection is not bestowed upon spiritual awakening! This is a humbling fact, to say the least. It means that after realizing our…

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My Story

I’m delighted and a little surprised to find myself writing this “teacher bio” — who’d a thunk? Here’s why: once upon a time, when I was little, science was my family’s religion. My parents were “fundamentalist atheists” meaning that they were as vehemently convinced that they had the right view of reality (pro-science, anti-spirituality, and…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Consciousness

The Simplified Short Version of Van’s Evolved Dharma

There is only Ultimate Radiant Divine Being, or the Ultimate Divine Self. Paradoxically, Ultimate Radiant Divine Being is simultaneously both unmanifested and manifested. There is nothing/no thing, no one, no where, and no place that is not Ultimate Divine Being. Ultimate Divine Being is an indivisible singular Supreme Unity. The complete totality of Ultimate Divine…

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The Simplified Short Version of Van’s Evolved Dharma – Video

This is a reading of Van’s essay during the Trillium Awakening Teacher’s Circle Mutual Support Forum on March 22, 2020. The full presentation was titled “Exploring the Further Evolution, Elaboration, and Refinement of the Trillium Awakening Dharma – Evolving a dharma that best serves the fullest realization and enjoyment of Radiant Divine Being” by Van…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Consciousness

Trust in God and Tie Your Camel

As a lover of acronyms (they help me learn and remember), I offer up a new one for this time of global pandemic and widespread fear. FEARR (Feeling, Experience, Acceptance, Reality/Revelation) Many of us are feeling fear as we hear about what’s happening in the world, in our country and in our immediate communities. Many…

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Mutuality: Awareness in Words

Something that stays constant for me is awareness. Whatever is happening inside of me in some response or reaction to pleasure or pain, I am aware of it in a full sense. It hasn’t always been this way. For most of my life, awareness was filtered through thinking and confusion. I often didn’t know what…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Consciousness

Awakening (to Our Senses)

A talk from an online sitting, January, 2019 Winter time is, in Chinese medicine terms, a period of maximum Yin. Yin is coldness, darkness, stillness, quietness, transformation and potential. It contrasts with Yang – fire, light, action, noise, movement. This is reflected in how nature and our bodies respond in winter (well – in the…

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Van’s Conscious Awareness Guided Exercise, 9/17/15

Trillium Awakening
Trillium Awakening
Van’s Conscious Awareness Guided Exercise, 9/17/15
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This audio recording is of an improvised guided exercise (with some explanation) that Van offered his small group one afternoon at the Northeast Deep Dive Retreat, to assist one of the students with clarifying Consciousness.

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Transmission and Resting in the Wholeness of Radiant Divine Being

Spiritual transmission is an invitation to rest in the wholeness of Radiant Divine Being. Transmission is (human) being to (human) being communion in the One Being, the One Divine Self, that we already are. I would recommend thinking of spiritual transmission as more of a resonant field, rather than as an energy beam sent from…

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Van’s Flute Improvisation, 2019 Teacher Retreat

Trillium Awakening
Trillium Awakening
Van’s Flute Improvisation, 2019 Teacher Retreat
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Van shared this beautiful flute piece at the at the end of the first night of the teacher retreat, Wednesday, August 14, 2019. Enjoy its transporting beauty.

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Consciousness

Mini-essay: “The Paradox of Ultimate Whole Being”

Whole Being equals Ultimate Being or the Ultimate Divine Self.  Ultimate Whole Being is paradoxically simultaneously both unmanifested and manifested, transcendental and mundane, spirit and matter, divine and human, the formless and the form, the Emptiness and the Fullness, etc. Ultimate Being is the ineffable all-inclusive Totality. Therefore, Ultimate Being is indescribable and can’t be…

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Tantra: A Teaching for Tough Times

No matter what your political bent, most of us can agree that we are going through some tough times. Ideology can’t fix global warming, drought, rising seas, poverty, alienation, isolation, or a bevy of other social ills that cause many of us pain. What it does do, all too well, is create riffs between ourselves…

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Teacher vs Student Responsibilities

Teacher’s responsibilities help students see their own wisdom – be careful to no over-identify with being “the source of wisdom” affirm the student’s own authority, and support the student’s unique process and path Offer insights and perspectives, but recognize it’s up to the student to decide if they are useful or valid.  the TA model…

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Sacred Unraveling

In this video I talk about how to engage the auspicious process of falling out of the illusion of control in support of embodied awakening. Definition from the Trillium Awakening glossary: Unraveling of Fixing and Seeking Strategies (i.e. Rot): The will to try new formulas for perfection and avoidance of suffering are dissolving, leaving one…

Essay – Profile Page | Essay Page – Mutuality

Where Are We Now with Mutuality?

Edited Transcription of a presentation by Fax Gilbert followed by a Discussion of Trillium Teachers at our Teacher Retreat, June 14, 2017 Fax: In light of the events leading up to and surrounding the grievance process a few years ago, I began to wonder whether a) my understanding of mutuality was very incomplete, or b) mutuality itself…

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Poem: Now

There will never be any other time than now. Now is more than enough. Now contains the universe and beyond. Now what? Now what matters is loving now. Nowness is the miraculous fabric of life unspooling into infinity. From nothing, into everything, into nothing again. Infinity always becoming, now.

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Awakening Capacities in Holacracy

Check out my article, Awakening Capacities in Holacracy, recently published in the online Enlivening Edge Magazine, an international group dedicated to nourishing the growing ecosystem of Next-Stage (including Teal) organizations. My article is a story about how the Trillium Olympia community moved from cumbersome consensus to a beautiful governance process based on Holacracy, and how…

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Fax Gilbert’s Interview with Subhaga for the January 2019 Newsletter

Fax: I want to offer my congratulations on your transition to becoming a Full Teacher and putting together these panel discussions on spiritual transmission. In a car, the transmission is responsible for shifting the gears. How does spiritual transmission shift the gears in aspirants? Subhaga: What a great metaphor!  I think people are humming along…

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Life as a Prayer

We are living through challenging times when problems that seem both monumental and intractable beset us on all sides.  The center of our common life seems to not be holding because our traditional cultural, political, spiritual, educational and commercial institutions all seem to be not up to the task of renewal.  When what once was…

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Deep Prayer: Being the Heart of the World

The awakened, naked intimacy with life can be experienced as a blessing – such vivid aliveness, heightened smells, colors, sounds, and wonderful immediacy of contact and connection. It’s also common to feel non-separation as a kind of curse as we become increasingly permeable to the suffering of those around us. We can join our hearts…

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Why Fixing Strategies Don’t Serve Your Awakening Process

In our Trillium Awakening path, we describe one of the early stages of the awakening processes as the rot, coming to the end of fixing strategies that we have followed in the hopes that we would somehow be better than we are. We tend to dismiss the efficacy of fixing strategies because they distract us…

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The Forever Connection

Trillium Awakening
Trillium Awakening
The Forever Connection
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During one of my online sittings I spoke about the fundamental field of consciousness that underlies and supports all of creation. Shortly before that sitting I came across the expression, “The Forever Connection.” I loved it. It opened up new doorways for me to relate to the field of non-change, the web that forever connects…

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The Power of Pause

Pausing …. in today’s fast-paced world do you take time to pause?  When people speak of awakening they often use the word “presence” or the expression,  “present moment awareness.” Pausing, even for just a moment, can bring us in direct contact with the present moment, with presence. In this video presentation, I speak about the connection between…

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Testimonials & Appreciation

“Margit Bantowsky offers online group experiences for participants pursuing and integrating embodied awakening.  She is a very skilled individual who side-steps the traditional role of teacher/instructor for the more artful role of “attuned facilitator.”  She asks participants to explore intelligent and philosophically rich questions relevant to awakened life and then draws out each individual’s unique…